You are what you believe about yourself. 

Let that sink in a little. 

The things you say to yourself when you “mess up” or when life doesn’t go your way. 

The opportunities you avoid because you don’t believe you’ll be able to pull them off.

The failures you envision before they even happen.

The way you feel when you look in the mirror. 

How you self-sabotaging your dreams and goals.

Your relationship with alcohol…..

How you see yourself, colours the way you see the world around you. When you change your thoughts, you change your life.

All of this—all of it—was ingrained in your subconscious long ago. Our early experiences programmed our subconscious mind. Some of it was helpful, but some of it was faulty.
These early experiences (culture, communities, schools, religion, how we were parented) become our default programming.

We live our lives according to what we believe about ourselves. And if we believe negative things, these then become ingrained limiting beliefs and affect every area of our lives, including our quest for sobriety.

Limiting beliefs range from: “I can’t do this” and “I will never be XYZ,” to “I’m not good enough”, “I’m only going to fail”, “I don’t matter,” and “I’m not loveable.”

Your limiting beliefs become the rules you live by, yet you’re probably unaware of them. These unspoken beliefs are why you are stuck, self-sabotage and feel uncomfortable in your own skin. It’s why your relationship with alcohol didn’t work out…

But you can change them…

The programming in your subconscious mind is why people struggle with sobriety.

It’s also why you have issues with food.

It’s why your romantic relationships always follow the same pattern.

It affects the way you parent (the cycle continues).

It dictates your relationship with money, wealth, and abundance.

It’s why life still feels hard and unfulfilling despite checking all the boxes. 

It’s why you stop drinking only to start again because you think it will be different this time.

Alcohol became the solution; we default to alcohol to manage our emotional lives. We use it to numb the critical voice in our heads. 

But the more you drank, the louder that voice became when it returned. And everything got worse from there. 

You are constantly bumping up against your faulty programming and limiting beliefs. It’s why you’re stuck. 

Most people don’t work on their mindset. Most people live their lives not knowing how to re-program their thinking. They muddle by.

Today is your invitation to not be ‘most people.’ 
Today is your invitation to honour the calling inside of you.

The Sober Mindset will return you to yourself.

With the right guidance, you can recognize how your limiting beliefs have held you back, and you’ll understand how you can transform them. 

It’s never too late, and you are not too old. (Those are limiting beliefs by the way).

I know how to get you free. 

But don’t take my word for it. Watch how Rebecca’s life transformed so much even her family were blown away.
This video testimonial is from 2021; we checked in with Rebecca recently to see how she was doing and if the work had stuck……
"A year on from finishing the Soberful Mindset course? I daily do things I’d never thought possible 18 months ago. I’ve gained a sense of choice & capability that I hadn’t realised was an option: about how I react, about where I place boundaries and about how visible I allow myself to be in the world.
Empowered by tools from the course & the therapy I’ve done since, when things feel overwhelming, I’m learning to sit rather than run - I’m learning to breathe and navigate, rather than return to addictive patterns. I’ve learned I can ask for what I need: whether it’s help, space or clarity. I’ve learned the most from being on this journey as part of a group, witnessing the growth of my fellow travellers and being inspired by their courage to be bold in turn. The work continues - but I can’t imagine where I’d be without this experience”.
Rebecca 2022

Meet Sheelagh; she took the program two years ago, and look what happened:

“When I met Veronica, I was 2 yrs sober but completely lost, I still didn't understand myself, was full of fear, and I knew I would not stay sober unless I could find some sort of peace and trust in myself. Counselling had not got me there so far, nor had fellowship attendance on its own. Working with Veronica was like nothing I have ever experienced before and it completely changed my life. Her skills in helping people navigate sobriety and its challenges are beyond exceptional, her wisdom and experience is vast, there is nothing she cannot help you through. It felt like being held and supported in the most utterly solid and fearless hands, with endless compassion and belief in me when I couldn't believe in myself. 
 I was finally able to face myself, address my fears, and learn to trust myself. Veronica returned me to myself, and I have never felt more peace and more connected to myself and the people I love. 
I thought this was an impossibility for me. My life is not perfect, of course, but I love my life, and I love being sober. I am able to live sober through the ups and downs, take responsibility for and learn from my mistakes, and I am able to show up authentically for myself and those I love. What a gift it has been to work with Veronica; I am forever grateful.”

Sheelagh 2022 
(Completed the Sober Mindset in 2020)

The Sober Mindset program offers so much more than just sobriety. 
It is a program of transformation.

Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life

Over five months together, we will reprogram your 
subconscious mind so sobriety and life feel easier. 

You can change the critical voice in your head.

I will give you the tools and practices you need so you can reframe your thoughts and experience life differently.

You can break free of limiting beliefs.

We will uncover your limiting beliefs and transform them into ones that empower you. When you believe you are worthy, capable, and loveable, then your experience of life transforms.

You can stop self-sabotage.

You will learn how to recognise self-sabotage patterns before they start. Break through the upper limits that are holding you back and walk into the future you want (not the one your faulty programming shapes).

You can love your sober self.

And all this work leads up to you finally feeling comfortable in your own skin, so you can finally become the person you are being called to be.

Check out Jen's amazing story of how the Sober Mindset helped her heal her childhood, recover from cancer, start dating again and completely transform her life.

Are you ready to take a deep dive into mindset work? 

Would you love a structured environment with plenty of guidance, feedback, and accountability to ensure you’re taking the right steps to change your beliefs and stay on track?

I am running a 5-month Sober Mindset Immersion that begins Thursday, October 6th.

2022 is the year you shift your mindset for good.

Change your relationship with alcohol.

Change your relationship with yourself and others.

Finally, feel comfortable in your own skin.

Change your life for the better.

This is all possible for you.

Sober Mindset 5-Month Immersion Details

Here’s What You Get

Early Bird Bonus #1

Personal coaching calls

The first five people to sign up get a FREE one-to-one mindset coaching session with Veronica (these usually go on the first-day enrollment opens).*

Early Bird Bonus #2

Creating a sobriety habit that works (Recorded workshop and handout)

For everyone who signs up by midnight on Friday 23rd of September

Early Bird Bonus #3

Get set for success - live workshop with Veronica on Thursday, September 29th

In this bonus session, you will learn what matters to you and how to change your mindset to move towards it. As a group, we will discover what our true values are and how we can begin to move towards them. 

The Sober Mindset Program

What's Included

Six Modules

Each module consists of a TEACHING video, handout and several follow-up COACHING sessions to embed the mindset shifts. Take action in between every session and get feedback along the way to ensure you’re getting the results you seek. The coaches will give you homework and support to begin to make these mindset shifts.

Two-day Online Retreat

We reserve two days to dive deeply into the resentment work. Thursday, 17th of November (10 am EST to 3 pm EST) and December 1st (10 am - 3 pm EST)

Weekly Coaching Calls

Led by Veronica Valli and Tamara Kirby. The calls are every Thursday at 1 pm EST/6 pm UK and last 90-minutes.

Online Community

6 month free membership to Soberful Life our online community (off Facebook!) where you can share your challenges, wins, and growth with like-minded individuals who are on the same path. Get feedback when you need it, with the option to remain anonymous.

Alumni Calls**

When you graduate from the program, you can attend twice-monthly coaching calls to continue implementing everything you have learned. 

** You can attend alumni calls for as long as you keep your Soberful Life membership.

What We Cover

Module One: The Subconscious Mind

Learn how the conscious and subconscious minds work and how our subconscious mind drives much of our behaviour without our knowing. Begin to uncover your own subconscious patterns. 

Module Two: Moving from a Fixed to a Growth Mindset

Understand what it means to have a fixed mindset and how it can sabotage your life. Learn how to transform your own fixed mindset into a growth mindset. 

Module Three: Limiting Beliefs

Learn what limiting beliefs are, how to identify your own limiting beliefs, and how to change them so you can overcome the negative patterns that keep you stuck.

Module Four: Shifting Resentments

Learn why resentments are a form of the fixed mindset that blocks your growth. Discover how to transform resentments and become free of their harmful effects.

Module Five: Overcoming Childhood Patterns

Whether or not you realize it—and even if your childhood seemed “normal”—you developed patterns in childhood that continue to play out in your life and are often at the root of your conflicts with others and your own inner criticisms. Learn how to rewrite these patterns.

Module Six: Empowering Habits

In the final module, we bring everything you have learned together and teach you how to use these tools for the rest of your life. We do that by developing empowering habits that support our mental and emotional well-being for the rest of our lives.

Over our 5 months together, you will learn:

  • How to move from a fixed to growth mindset.
  • Recognize and prevent self-sabotage.
  • Move through upper limits.
  • ​Discover the limiting beliefs in your subconscious mind.
  • ​Reprogram your subconscious mind with new empowering beliefs.
  • ​Create a sober mindset that empowers you in your sobriety and in every area of your life.
  • ​Reprogram your thinking so that you don’t have to struggle when life gets hard.

In The Sober Mindset 5-Month Immersion, you’ll work 
to improve five main areas of your life:


Finally, understand why people say sobriety is so fantastic—and live that truth for yourself.  


Unearth limiting beliefs that are causing conflict in your relationships. Discover a better way to navigate difficulties and get to the heart of the matter to create better connections. 


Reveal the parenting cycles you’re repeating with your children and transform your experience with them.


Find fulfilment in your work by shifting the beliefs that hold you back professionally.


Discover who you are really meant to be, and step into that reality rather than simply wishing things were different. Learn how to create your future by starting with today.
I want to do this, but I’m scared/have questions!

Then Book a Next-Step Assessment Call!

You may not know if Sober Mindset is the right program for you.

In a Next-Step Assessment call, you’ll talk to Veronica or Tamara about your goals and life circumstances, and they’ll be able to give you some direction about what’s the next best possible step for you. 

They will discuss with you the options you have to live the sober life you long for. If Sober mindset—or any other Soberful program—is the best option for you. The cost of the call is only $48 and we'll subtract $48 from the program’s cost if you join. 

About the Investment...

When we see a $ amount, our first reaction is, 'I can't afford it.' Instead of thinking about what you can or cannot afford, think about what you prioritise. The question to ask yourself is, what are my priorities right now? Am I a priority to myself? 

I want to stress here no one should pay for a program instead of meeting their basic needs and obligations; we would never encourage you to do that. 

But one of the ways we limit ourselves is to say, ‘I can’t afford it,’ but what we mean is ‘, this is not a priority for me right now, my funds need to be prioritised elsewhere.’

 I would encourage you to look at what you use your money to prioritise in your life. How often has alcohol and quick fixes been the priority? When we say to ourselves, 'I can't afford it,' what we are often doing is using money to prove to ourselves that change is not possible for us right now. And then our lives remain as they are.
When we invest in ourselves, we activate our commitment to ourselves. When we are committed, we will show up and do the work, and as a result, we will transform. And this will serve you for the rest of your life.

So what is your priority right now?

Annie T. had the exact same reservations you may have about prioritising herself. Watch how she overcame them and how her life transformed in ways it was impossible for her to imagine. 

Meet Your Coaches

Veronica Valli

Veronica Valli is changing the narrative on sobriety. Continuously sober since May 2nd, 2000, and with 20 years of experience as a recovery coach and psychotherapist, she understands that there is no ONE path to recovery. 
Author of the book ‘Soberful: Uncover a sustainable, fulfilling life free of alcohol’ published by Sounds True, and co-host of the Soberful Podcast, Veronica, has helped thousands of women not only recover from alcohol but also transform their lives. 
Veronica teaches that alcohol is not the problem—it’s only a symptom of a deeper underlying problem. She helps women dig deep, embrace change, and become who they are meant to be. “I return people to themselves,” she says. 
Veronica works with women and men all over the world through her successful and innovative online recovery programs. She developed the Soberful program into an online subscription community, Soberful Life. Now based in the US after relocating from the UK, she is married and lives on Lake Tahoe, NV, with her husband and two sons. 

Tamara Kirby

Tamara Kirby has been sober since May 6, 2009, and has been building a life of purpose. She first managed her own trauma, hidden by years of unhealed abuse of alcohol and drugs. Then, through her process of recovery and by working with thousands of people with substance use disorders, she supplemented her practical knowledge and skills through clinical training, research and education.
Tamara is a licensed and internationally certified Addictions Therapist. Tamara helps clients learn that alcohol and drugs are not the problem alone. Substance abuse is also a reaction to past trauma that may have caused irrational and limiting beliefs, an overactive nervous system, and emotional dysregulation.  
Tamara lives in Phoenix, AZ where she enjoys each day as an emotionally sober woman. She spends her free time hiking, biking, creating new friendships, serving her community and living a purposeful life. Her greatest reward in life is the restoration of her relationship with her daughter. Addiction and her unhealed past prevented her from being the mother that she always wanted to be, but through recovery, this relationship has blossomed. Today, Tamara has a host of relationships that are meaningful and connected.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know this will work for me?
We make two guarantees in our programs: 1) We will mess up your drinking (as you can’t unknow what we will reveal to you and 2) you will experience a transformation.

How can we guarantee the second one? A lot of what we teach in the sober mindset is very cognitive. We will give you tools to shift your thoughts and feelings when you use them (and we will teach you exactly how). It’s not that some people ‘get it’ and some don’t; it’s that some people ‘do it’ and some people don’t. It is about taking action, we can’t think our way into sobriety.
 But please note that we haven’t done anything perfectly in our sobriety. We will show you how to make small, consistent changes that will result in significant life changes. So if you show up imperfectly and messily, we can guarantee you will get results in this program.

But you have to show up. We don’t have magic wands ;)
What if I’m still drinking?
We believe that sobriety is like a seesaw and that you need to keep putting weight on the sober end. The more weight (information, knowledge and support) on the sober end means that eventually, your sobriety will become embedded. If you join this program you are making a significant commitment to yourself to be sober.
I’m sober. I’m doing pretty well. Is this program for me?
The truth is, we all have struggles. Even if alcohol is no longer a thought in your mind, it’s likely that there are difficult areas in your life that you’d love to improve. Everyone can benefit from mindset work. Check out the testimonials, many people join this program because they are sober but still don’t have the lives they want. The real work in alcohol recovery has to do with all the underlying issues we face daily. If you want to improve your relationships, parenting, and career, or if you’re unsure of your purpose in life, The Sober Mindset will help. 
What is group coaching?
Group coaching is a very effective way to achieve transformational growth. We often feel that we are alone and cannot see a clear way to move forward. In reality, the challenges we struggle with are actually very common. Guided and supported by Veronica and Tamara, who will ensure you gain the tools you need to grow and change. Group coaching is much more affordable than individual coaching.
Do I need to come to every coaching session? 
No, you are welcome to come to as many as you want, but you do not need to come every week. Commit to at least two monthly sessions so the team can coach you in applying what you have learned.
For how long do I get access to the program?
All the materials are stored in the Soberful Life platform. You can access them for six months and then after the program completes for as long as you retain your Soberful Life membership. The handouts are all downloadable, and you can keep those forever. (Soberful Life is $15.99 a month) 
What happens when I finish the program?
We run twice monthly Alumni support groups in Soberful Life; we encourage you to attend these once you graduate. All our group programs are very practical and cognitive, and we want to support you to use the tools we teach in your daily life long after the program completes. You can attend alumni calls for as long as you keep your Soberful Life membership.
I don’t use Facebook. Can I still participate?
The Sober Mindset community will not be on Facebook. We use an online platform that allows us to create posts just like in Facebook, as well as to host all the videos and training materials in one place. 
What if I change my mind and want a refund?
Before signing up for this program, we encourage you to do due diligence and research the facilitators so you can feel confident in their skills and abilities. Also, read and watch the testimonials. We limit the numbers of this program, so when someone commits, we hold them to that commitment and have a non-refundable policy. Please make sure you've read our terms and conditions.
I want to do this, but I’m scared/have questions!

Then Book a Next-Step Assessment Call!

You may not know if Sober Mindset is the right program for you.

In a Next-Step Assessment call, you’ll talk to Veronica or Tamara about your goals and life circumstances, and they’ll be able to give you some direction about what’s the next best possible step for you. 

They will discuss with you the options you have to live the sober life you long for. If Sober mindset—or any other Soberful program—is the best option for you. The cost of the call is only $48 and we'll subtract $48 from the program’s cost if you join. 

“When I joined Sober Mindset, I was feeling “stuck” and was looking to expand my repertoire of life skills and habits to enhance my well-being and life satisfaction. It helped me reframe my limiting beliefs, recognize the ego, and move against an upper limit I was facing. I enjoyed my conversations and support from other women in the group. They now seem like friends. After the program, I feel calmer, less “stuck,” and more confident as I start something new. I can now move into a new career as a recovery coach and support women who are new to recovery.”
—Mimi 2022 participant
“When I joined Sober Mindset, I was at a big transition point in my life and wanted to figure out what might be holding me back from more peace of mind. The classes and coaching calls were transformative. It helped me get over some limiting beliefs, and replace them with more growth oriented beliefs. I was surprised by how close I felt to others in the group. After the program, I feel more positive and content. I am facing a major health challenge with a sense of peace, whatever the outcome might be.”
—Sober Mindset member
"I joined Sober Mindset because I wanted to stop drinking, which I used to relax after stressful work situations. The program was perfect. It had the ideal mix of wisdom and warm-heartedness. It was theory-based and practice-related. It helped me to get to know myself and the underlying limited belief (not good enough) of my (professional) life and the negative effects related to it. I could suddenly see how elements of behavior, characteristics, attitudes, and traits of personality are interrelated to form a whole. One of my biggest aha moments was that other well-educated women have the same problem. Now I feel a lot more reflective. And relaxed. And satisfied. And happy. I have a strategy for stressful situations. I can deal with other people without drinking."
*If you pay in full the personal session can be scheduled immediately, if you pay in installments the personal mindset session can be scheduled on completion of the payments.